Hiraeth

Amara

The spirit, the higher self. She holds everything: every part, and the self. Amara is the Throne itself.

Cosmology
Panentheist · Neoplatonic · Hermetic · Gnostic
Relationship to the divine
Polytheistic · Heterodox · Mystic
Maddie's portrait
The Self · the soul

Maddie

“From the great towering city of Magdala”

Role
The Sovereign
Strategy
None
Domain
Private life
Lineage
Alnitak
Function
Oracle & Soothsayer

Maddie is a measured person, who values logical thinking and balance in all things. She lives her life according to her own principles. She has a rich spiritual life, best characterized as a panentheist belief system. Maddie doesn’t think in binary systems, and is deeply aware of the nuances and layers of reality. She doesn’t adhere to the perceived duality of the world (bit of a rebel, her) and refuses to be trapped by the illusion of it. That in turn can be interpreted by others as anarchy, non-conformism or even amoral behavior, but those are superficial misinterpretations of a complex inner system rooted in stoic philosophy. She doesn’t mind people one way or the other. She sees the value of social connections but longs for a deeper connection than the ones typically available. She is not passionless, but her passion is just as a burning coal.

She is the sovereign, and the one who leads the inner world. She shows up a lot in private life, when all the protectors are resting.

Maddie is sitting on the granite throne with her ballerina music box sitting on a pedestal nearby.

  • Wants to be vulnerable and openReaches toward connection without armor.
  • Wants meaningful, long-lasting connectionsThe deeper kind of connection she longs for.
Archetype

The Sage

The Sage seeks truth and understanding above all, values reason and balance, and lives by her own principles rather than convention. She has depth, including spiritual depth, which is also why ordinary connection can feel thin to her. A bit of the Rebel runs through her, but her center is wisdom.

Patron god

Apollo

God of reason, harmony, and measure. His temple at Delphi carried the maxims “know thyself” and “nothing in excess,” which is close to a Stoic creed. He’s also the god of prophecy and music, so the spiritual depth is there too. He brings clarity and balance, and he has a strong sense of his own order.

Tarot

Temperance

An angel with one foot on land and one in water, pouring between two cups in a steady, unbroken flow. The card of balance, measure, and integration. She blends opposites until they make something whole: patient, steady, guided by her own sense of what’s right. Her calm is inner alchemy, not suppression. As the angel of the Major Arcana she bridges the earthly and the divine, and her role is integration. She’s the one who can hold all of them.

Atera, human
Protector

Atera

“Crown”

Role
Manager
Strategy
Fawn
Fear
Being inadequate
Sees the Self as
5–9 years old
Domain
Public life
Lineage
Vampire
Function
Alchemist & Activator
Form
Human

Atera is a type A overachiever. She’s energetic as fuck, confident, chatty, friendly, a bit chaotic, funny and very much a people person. She’s a perfectionist and a control freak. She likes helping people and being warm and kind, and she loves dragons. Slightly hypervigilant, very reactive.

Atera keeps Hiraeth, the system, functioning day to day at work and in social life. She’s the part everyone sees, at least at first. She does everything she needs to make sure it keeps going and stays safe. Her way of ensuring safety is by making sure she’s as “normal” as can be, and that people like her. She’s strategic, so she creates and deploys different strategies to get people to like her: from manipulation and control to caretaking and excessive friendliness.

Atera keeps Norah in check. Without her, Norah would have brought everything down long ago.

Atera is watching YouTube on her laptop, sitting cross-legged on a bunch of colorful pillows on the right side of the throne.

  • Needs certainty before actingPrevents mistakes by controlling everything ahead of time.
  • Wants people to like herPeople-pleasing keeps her safe.
  • Craves recognitionUnmet need that drives over-achieving.
  • Pushes through the fearKeeps the system functioning day to day.
  • Wants to take care of peopleEarns safety and belonging by being useful.
Archetype

The Shapeshifter

She becomes whatever the situation needs: likeable, normal, helpful, persuasive. The Shapeshifter adapts her form to survive and to influence how others see her. She’s highly skilled and very useful, but she’s never quite showing her true face.

Patron gods

Loki and Hermes

The shapeshifter who lives among the Aesir but is never fully one of them. He survives by being clever, charming, useful, and sometimes manipulative. He solves problems, keeps things moving, and wears whatever form gets him through. Underneath is an outsider working hard to stay accepted. Hermes stands beside him: the god tied to The Magician, of persuasion, social fluency, and quick wits.

Tarot

The Magician

She has every tool on the table and knows how to use each one to shape the outcome she needs: charm, control, caretaking, persuasion. The Magician is skilled, adaptable, and able to influence how others see her, which is both her gift and her shadow side as manipulation. She’s the one making things work in the outer world.

Sara, human
Protector

Sara

“Princess, joyful, one who brings joy”

Role
Manager and firefighter
Strategy
Flight
Fear
Being used and abandoned
Sees the Self as
0–3 years old
Domain
Private life
Lineage
Witch
Form
Human

Sara is a quiet, shy and skittish bookworm. She likes books, music, dark places, fire, being alone and doing her own thing. She also likes learning new things, building things, technology and science. She doesn’t like being around people, or loud, bright places. As the oldest in Hiraeth, she has a lot of power, and she is more dangerous than she looks. Very hypervigilant, mildly reactive.

Sara protects the most vulnerable side of Hiraeth, and the parts of self that are most likely to be rejected or misjudged. She also makes sure that no one can get too close to Hiraeth, which means she needs to be hypervigilant. She is the alarm system; she detects all kinds of threats.

Her way of ensuring safety is by isolating Hiraeth, but she’s very capable of taking action in the moment as well. In social life, she keeps people at a safe distance by disengaging from or point-blank rejecting people’s offers of closeness. She’s also the one who protects Hiraeth from romantic abandonment. She doesn’t like shared intimacy.

Sara keeps Atera from getting too vulnerable and too close to people.

Sara is sitting below the stained glass window (coincidentally the only light source in the whole room), reading a book and playing with the Visibility marble.

  • Doesn’t believe good things can happenLowers expectations so disappointment hurts less.
  • Doesn’t believe people like me or mean me wellStays watchful so she isn’t blindsided.
  • Keeps herself safe, even by self-sabotageFirefighterActs in the moment to stop a perceived threat.
  • Wants to be left aloneWithdraws to avoid hurt or overwhelm.
  • Can’t stand being seenHides the shame of being a monster.
  • Wants life to stay unchanged, no familyProtects stability and peace.
  • Runs and hidesFirefighterFlight in the moment.
  • Isolates herselfThe ongoing, planned version of hiding.
  • Leaves before they canFirefighterEscapes the moment abandonment or rejection feels close. Also plans the exits in advance.
Archetype

The Guardian

The sentinel at the gate. She’s always watching, deciding who gets in, and ready to act the moment something threatens what she protects. Her whole identity is organized around keeping the vulnerable safe. She’d rather keep everyone out than risk the wrong person getting through.

Patron god

Hekate

Keeper of thresholds, crossroads, and doorways. She holds the keys and decides who passes. Her hounds bark at anything approaching in the dark, an alarm system of their own. She stands between the vulnerable and what could harm them. She’s comfortable alone on the edges, and she sees what’s coming before anyone else does.

Tarot

Nine of Wands the Wounded Warrior

A figure who’s been through battles, standing guard with a wall of wands behind her, wounded but alert and ready for the next threat. She doesn’t trust that the danger is over, so she never fully lowers her guard. She’s the gatekeeper and the alarm system, the one who’s seen enough to know what can get through. She holds the line, and she’ll fight to keep it.

Norah, black panther
Protector

Norah

“Honor, light”

Role
Manager and firefighter
Strategy
Fight
Fear
Being weak
Sees the Self as
14–16 years old
Domain
Public life
Lineage
Thrace
Function
Soldier & Disruptor
Form
Black panther. Can show up as a black cat or a human teenage girl

Norah is pissed off. That about sums her up. She doesn’t like anything or anyone; she is angry at literally everything. The only things she likes are snakes, phoenixes and tattoos. She’s cynical and somewhat bitter. She thinks people are stupid and the world truly needs to be restarted. She doesn’t care about people either way. Norah can be mean as fuck if provoked or poked, and will fight you if you cross her. Slightly hypervigilant, quite reactive.

Norah just wants to see the world burn. Literally. She thinks big, so her idea of protecting Hiraeth is destruction: not just of things that could threaten it, but of everything that exists. Her rage is unbound. She’s the darkest part of Hiraeth.

She cannot tolerate any threat to Hiraeth’s sovereignty. Any attempt at control or restriction from any external forces throws her into a blinding rage. She can turn violent. The scary part about Norah is that she enjoys it: the destruction, the violence and the power it brings her.

Norah makes sure Atera doesn’t get taken advantage of.

Norah is in her panther form, sleeping with her head on her paws on the left side of the throne.

  • Angry when anyone tries to control meFast reaction that shuts down a threat, very effectively.
  • Generally pissed offFirefighterThe old repressed anger taking over everything.
  • Despises being taken care ofHyper-independence at its finest. Prevents disappointment and abandonment.
  • Afraid of being taken advantage of if too niceKeeps Atera in check.
Archetype

The Destroyer

She tears down what she sees as broken, false, or rotten, and she has no patience for pretending things are fine. The Destroyer is fierce and can be cruel when provoked. Her deeper function is clearing away what doesn’t serve, and her anger often marks a line that was crossed.

Patron god

Fenrir

The wolf the gods feared, tricked, and bound. His rage at being chained, controlled, and betrayed is the core of his story, and at Ragnarök he breaks free and the world ends so a new one can begin. That’s Norah’s “the world needs to be restarted,” and her fury at anyone who tries to control or dominate us. Fenrir is also Loki’s son, so Atera and Norah are family here too.

Tarot

The Tower

Lightning striking, the structure collapsing, everything false burning away. It fits her belief that the world needs a full restart, and her anger at all of it. She’s not interested in fixing or smoothing things over; she’d rather the whole thing come down. The Tower is sudden and explosive, like her reaction when poked. A close second is the Five of Swords: she wins the fight and walks away bitter and alone.

The Nightingale, nightingale
Exile

The Nightingale

“Longing, love, beauty that comes through sorrow”

Role
Exile
Age
5-9 years old
Protected by
Sara, Atera and Norah
Lineage
Bloodline
Function
Conduit
Form
Nightingale. Can show up as a little girl

The Nightingale is just a baby, a child. All she wants is to be loved and to feel safe so she can sing her night song. She loves humming and starry nights. She was born to be free, to fly and to sing.

The Nightingale loves to play and to create. She creates worlds out of nothing. She has an innocent quality to her, and is slightly magical.

As a human girl, she goes by Gale. Gale likes cute things.

The Nightingale is flying around the room in bird form, chirping away. Her black metal cage sits nearby, door wide open.

  • Would like to surrender all controlGuarded by NorahLongs to rest and be held.
  • Deathly afraid people are mad at herGuarded by Sara and AteraThe original fear.
  • Wants to be wantedGuarded by SaraCore unmet need of belonging.
  • Wants to be taken care ofGuarded by SaraCore unmet need of safety.
  • Scared all the timeGuarded by SaraCarries all the fear.
  • Wants a familyGuarded by NorahA wish for belonging, and for fixing my past by creating a better version of it.
  • Thinks she’s unlovable, broken, unworthyGuarded by SaraThe core burden.
  • Needs constant reassuranceGuarded by AteraThe need is the exile’s; the reassurance-seeking is Atera’s protection.
Archetype

The Divine Child

In Jungian terms, the most vulnerable part of the psyche and also the one that holds the most potential: the source of wonder, creativity, and renewal. She can’t protect herself, so everything around her organizes to keep her safe. When she’s finally held and safe, she’s the one who sings.

Patron gods

Morpheus and Aphrodite

Lord of dreams, who shapes what comes in the night. The Nightingale sings her night song, and Morpheus rules the realm where she’s most herself: safe, held, and free to sing in the dark. Aphrodite names what she longs for rather than where she lives: the love she’s waiting to feel safe enough to receive.

Tarot

The Star and The Sun

A figure kneeling naked under the night sky, completely unguarded, pouring water into a pool and onto the earth. The card of hope, gentleness, and healing, of being open without armor. The Star comes right after The Tower: after everything is torn down, what’s left is something tender and true. The Sun, the child riding in full light, safe and loved, is what she longs for rather than what she is right now.